Understanding.

i don't think we have an understanding.
i feel like shit is out of sync.
we're not on the same page,
are we?

that's a life story.
being lost,
not knowing what's really going on,
around me,
or inside of my mind,
or heart.

a poem couldn't even sort this out.

that being said,
i have to be real.
can i even say we're heading somewhere....
do you believe we are heading somewhere?
or are we headed in two different directions?

i feel that there are so many unanswered questions....
and it's like none of them will ever be answered....
and it makes me feel
sad.
lost.
and unsure.

because
you and i,
had something real,
you know?
and i mean
i don't know whether or not
we're a worthy cause.....

but i do like you.
i know we had something realer than real.
it felt like it would never end,
...
...
...
...
...
but it did.

and when we got to
that abrupt end,
like turned into love.
and we shared memories.
it felt as if,
we didn't have enough time,
because every thing feels incomplete.....

but who am i to blame you,
because it was my fault to begin with.....
so now regret stands with love.
and i hate the fact it happened,
wishing life had a rewind button......

but everything happens for a reason,
so they say,
so i guess i have to stay hopeful,
for the best,
for my own sake.....

but i feel like you don't understand.....
and i feel like i'll be left behind....
i'll just be memories......
the same memories that haunt me every day,
because it reminds me of where we aren't,
and what we aren't anymore....

how it sucks to have regret.

and to think.......
i could've had you now....

but six months later....
i don't.

and the sad realization is,
i push so hard to just get over it....
and i believe i am.....
but it always....
ALWAYS.....
comes back to you.

and i don't know why.
is that how love is?
is that what it does?

....i don't know.

so now i sit,
alone.
wondering,
if you understand....
how bad i want you back.

i'm sure you do......
but i guess the real question is....

do i realize,
how much you do want it?
or
am i too blind to realize,
realistically,
maybe,
you DON'T want it back.....

....we'll see.



good night.